Can you live a day without a MOBILE?

A few days ago, when I was at work, I realized that I had left my mobile at home... :(..
My first reaction was "How will I live through the day?"... And so I had 2 options
Option 1 - Drive back home to get the mobile
Option 2 - Live the day without a mobile

I choose 2 above. Not knowing what I was signing up for
So as soon as I reached my desk, I sent a mail with my alternate number to all those who needed to know where to reach me. And I personally called the few important people (who may want to reach that day) - mostly friends and family; and informed them about this!

It was about 9:30 AM and I was prepared to get down to work..
And before I knew it, it was time to go home
I had survived for a whole day without my mobile

Did I miss my mobile? Oh yes! SURE
Did things happen the way they had to? Oh yes! SURE
Did people who had to contact me manage to do so? Oh yes! (There are so many ways to communicate - mail, desk phone, Twitter, FaceBook, etc.)
Did I learn something that day? Oh yes! SURE
Did I end up wiser? I think SO :)

Here are the top lessons of the day
Lesson 1 : You can live a day without your mobile
The mobile has become a habit for most of us. A prized possession. A good pass time. A necessity. A luxury. An integrated device to do all that you want to - Pay bills, Talk to people, Read the latest news (global, national, regional and that of friends and family). An addiction. etc etc... And hence not many of us can live without our mobiles.
But the fact is that you can survive without your mobile.. and not just survive, but truly "live" - Simply because you can take control of your time.. without the mobile taking control of your life.. And personally I found it rewarding because I probably observed more of the world around me, pondered over many things about life, connected with people who mattered in ways that made a difference..
Additional Take-Away : I personally enjoyed not having my mobile for a day. And hence I ear mark sometime every week when I simply ignore the presence of my mobile. It is one of the best changes I have made in my life!

Lesson 2 : The WORLD moves on even if you don't have your mobile
Yes! Most of us tend to believe that if we are not connected through our mobile, then probably the WORLD will come to a stand-still! Well I've got news for you - The WORLD moves on with / without your mobile!  Bills get paid, messages get conveyed, tasks get completed, news spreads... everything happens.. The way it should in the cosmic world!
And I don't for a minute mean that you are not important. Just that it is important to know how "Important" you are in the overall scheme of things.. In the cosmic ways of the world

Lesson 3: There is a world beyond the MOBILE
A lot of us think and truly believe that the MOBILE is our world, and the world is on our MOBILE. (That's probably true - literally and otherwise!). But then hey! There is a "REAL WORLD" too which is beyond your mobile - which is actually fun, exciting, interesting, amazing and wonderful..
Care to be a part of it? If yes, then may be its time to say Good Bye to your mobile for a few hours every day..
Live... Explore and Discover this WORLD too!
It is a lot of fun, wonder and joy!

What do you think? Can you live a day without your mobile?
Leave a comment to let me know

Roundup of Childrens videos (2-3 years)

Thanks to my daughter's summer vacations in the past few weeks - I've discovered several new children's videos on YouTube - They are educational, informative, and have a good visual / audio quality (in comparison to others!).  And most importantly, we both like them and can keep us occupied for at least an hour (That's a blessing in the vacation time)

In this blog, sharing some of these videos for children between 2 - 3 years

Cookies Nursery Rhymes  [Its a hot favorite with many kids!]

Edewcate's Animal Rhymes

Edewcate Nursery Rhymes [One of my favorites]

Karadi Rhymes - I'm just like you [Another one of my favorites]

Appus Nursery Rhymes

Tu Ti Tu Icecream [There's more here on Tu Ti Tu series - Cakes, Telephone, etc]

Mother Goose Club 

Pupi Pupi

Collection of Telugu Rhymes

 

Do you know where to draw the line?

When any relationship starts, it begins in either of the two ways below
(1) With a THICK line between two people clearly defining boundaries. Classic examples are friends, work colleagues, couple, etc.
(2) With no real lines and no specific boundaries. Classic examples are parents & children, siblings, etc.

Over time relationships grow and as they evolve - they end up in either of the two ways below:
(1) With well-defined lines between two people clearly defining boundaries, what's OK and what's NOT OK
(2) With hazy lines and no specific boundaries, no real clarity on what's OK and what's NOT OK.

 Now here-in lies the problem..
if a relationship has "hazy lines and no specific boundaries, no real clarity on what's OK and what's NOT OK" - At some point, one thing is bound to happen - One starts taking things for GRANTED. And beyond a point, that's NOT OK with most people...

So what happens?
Things are said which hurt
Things are done which hurt
Things are ignored which hurt

And that puts permanent cracks between people in a beautiful relationship

So what can be done to avoid this?
Well I think "Drawing the line" in relationships before its too LATE
Be it with your parents
Be it with your children
Be it with your spouse
Be it with your friends
Be it with your family
Be it with your colleagues
Be it with just about anyone

Learn to draw the lines
Sooner than Later
Let them know what's OK
Let them know what's NOT OK

So, Do you know where to draw the line? If not, it's food for thought!

Nischala's Reading List

In this blog, sharing the list of books which I want to read.. Hopefully will be able to read soon... Have you read any of these books? Let me know your views on the books below.
Have you come across any book which is on your "Must-Read" recommendation list.. If yes, leave a comment to let me know.. Would love to hear your book suggestions...

Blue Zones BY Dan Buettne
Seven levels of Intimacy BY Matthew kelly
The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything BY Ken Robinson
My Life, My Rules BY Sonia Gilani
Corporate Divas BY Sonia Gilani
License to Live BY Priya Kumar
The Beauty Diet by Shonali Sabherwal
Eat Delete BY Pooja Makhija
PS: I Love you BY Cecelia Ahern
Don't Lose your mind, Lose your weight BY Rujuta Diwekar
Superpower BY Raghav Behl
Imaging India BY Nandan Nilekani
Siddhartha BY Hermann Hesse
The Time Keeper BY Mitch Albom
Maharani BY Ruskin Bond
On Writing BY Stephen King
The Icarus Deception BY Seth Godin
Follow every Rainbow BY Rashmi Bansal
The TCS Story BY Ramdorai
20,000 Days and Counting: The Crash Course for Mastering Your Life Right Now BY Robert D Smith and Andy Andrews
The Immortals of Meluha BY Amish Tripathi
The Oath of the Vayuputras BY Amish Tripathi
The Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother BY Amy Chua
The Conflict : How Modern Motherhood undermines the status of women BY Elisabeth Badinter
Trust your Vibes BY sonia choquette
The Diary of Amoslee I Sit, I Write, I Flush BY Adeline Foo
The Message of a Master BY John MacDonald
Your Place or Mine BY Julie Highmore
Her Fearful Symmetry BY Audrey Niffenegger
The Celestine Vision BY James Redfield
The Magic in Believing BY Claude Bristol
The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying BY Sogyal Rinpoche
Flow BY Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin BY Henry David Thoreau
Walden BY Henry David Thoreau
A Better Way to Live BY Og Mandino
University of Success BY Og Mandino
The Juiceman's Power of Juicing BY Jay Kordich
6 PM Slot BY Naomi Dutta
The Artist's Way BY Julia Cameron
Letters from a Stoic BY Seneca
Meditations BY Marcus Aurelius
Life is Tremendous BY Charlie Tremendous Jones
The Intelligent Investor BY Benjamin Graham

NOTE to those who know me: If you intend to give me any gift in the next few months (for whatever reason), feel free to buy me a book from the list above :)

The “House-Shifting” Saga: Children and Dealing with Change

Recently we shifted our residence, and as with any new residential project we had discussed, thought and planned about everything we could think of – interiors, space, light, window-dressings, colors, storage, shifting, settling, etc etc etc..

We thought we’d covered just about everything with respect to planning, and would be fine in terms of execution if we stuck to the plan (Of course there could be a few unexpected deviations). After all, planning and execution are integral elements of our professional responsibilities, and we did have decades of experience in that department. And being working parents, a detailed plan was essential to plan time-off from work and to ensure that there is minimum impact / effect on our work life balance.

Unfortunately for us, there was just ONE CRITICAL FACTOR that we missed in the equation. We NEVER really thought about, planned, discussed or considered vital to the “House Shifting” project. And that was how our daughter would take to this change.

We did speak to her about the fact that we would be shifting to a new residence, and she appeared to be excited about the new house. And beyond that, there really appeared to be nothing worthy of concern.

Until we actually shifted. And then began the SAGA. I call it a SAGA because it’s the first of its kind I’ve witnessed and experienced as a parent – Endless tears, shouting & screaming, refusal to eat food, improper sleep and disturbed sleep cycles, extreme sadness (the melancholy eyes are enough to cut through your heart!)…. The list continues. In simple words, a lot of visible behavioral changes; with the only demand / request / plead to go back to the old residence.

Now this was something which we had never really thought of, anticipated or planned. And more importantly, I guess as parents we did not comprehend.

Let me illustrate with a few examples:

Baby : “Mummy, Whose house is this?”

Me: “Ours”

Baby : “No. This is not our house.. Let’s go back to the old house”

Me: Speechless

Baby: “Mummy.. I love you so much.. Please Please Please – Can we go back to the old house”

Me: Speechless

Baby: “I’m hungry..”

Me: “What will you eat? Something yummy?”

Baby: “Yes.”

Me: “Chocolate? Biscuit? Ice-cream? ”

Baby : “Nothing. Can you please take me to the old house”

Me: Speechless

What followed was a lot of Googling, consulting with family doctors, thinking, analysis and ‘trial-and-error’ ways on how to deal with the situation. Not to mention, all the free advice which came from family and well-wishers on what needs to be done, and how!

Thankfully we figured a way to settle things down, which included primarily:

·     * Showcasing / Highlighting the good in the new residence

·    * Creating an exclusive space filled with toys / activities; and mentioning it a zillion times that this was her space

·     *  Not speaking / referring to the old residence during conversations

·     *  Ignoring tantrums / requests to go back to the old residence

Lessons Learned

(1)  Each child (or even individual) has a different appetite to deal with change. Major changes which can affect a child include (as mentioned by a child specialist) changes in living environment [Room, House, Interiors, Lights, Smell, Place / Location], change of friends, change of schools, addition of a family member (which typically includes siblings, pets or new people living with you), loss of a family member (which typically includes parents, grandparents, pets, or moving out of someone who was living with you). And each child reacts and responds to changes in a different way. Give children some time to accept and digest the change; and this can vary for a week to several months. Till then, be loving, patient understanding and supportive!

(2)  For many of us, a part of our identity is closely linked to where we reside. Looking back, my daughter has lived in the old residence for 100% of her life (from birth) and hence a strong part of her identity is linked to the old residence. It is possibly an unsettling feeling to deal with a change so strongly linked to her identity

(3)  As children (at least up to a particular age), the house interiors don’t really matter – Fancy lighting, Cutting edge gadgets, Artistic wall-papers, Beautiful paintings / artwork / curios, etc etc etc. hardly make a difference. What they value is a safe living environment, with a space they can call their own; filled with love and affection. The superfluous things just don’t matter!

(4)  During the impressionable years of a child’s life and development, it is critical to model behaviors / habits that you’d ideally want them to develop in the long run. For e.g.: If your child throws a tantrum for something “unreasonable” / “impossible” in the real-world (For e.g.: I want to go to the moon OR I want a real lion as a pet J OR I want a red banana / blue apple / green dog, etc.) and you end up almost always “giving-in” (partially / fully); the child believes that the way to get what he / she wants is by throwing a tantrum. So keep a check on such behavioral patterns and their formation. They play a critical role in the long term child growth and development.

(5)  As a parent, you know your child best; and are “divinely” equipped with the “know-how” on dealing with all kinds of situations involving you’re child. In difficult parenting situations (especially for the first time); the right guidance coupled with common sense, trust in your own instincts, faith in your parenting abilities and a positive approach in dealing with the situation make all the difference!

Ending with Nischala’s Words of Wisdom: If you are a parent and considering shifting your residence – Do think through and factor the impact it could potentially have on your children!! And it is worthwhile to have a realistic plan on how you’ll deal with this!

Originally published on Parentous