Tuesday, July 22, 2014

What "really" matters?

"What "really" matters?", I wonder
In the larger scheme of things
You or Me or Us or All of it

What we did? or
What we did not do?
What we said? or
What we did not say?
What we thought? or
What we did not think?
What difference we made? or
What we did differently?
How we lived our life? or
How we let them live their life?
How we touched their life? or
How we left their life untouched?

A bit of this and a bit of that
is what really matters I think

Life cannot be almost always about you
Neither can it be almost always about them
A fine balance is what it is
To me you you, and make me me...

For with age, experience and time..
I'm beginning to "truly" understand
The life lessons which were told to me
Very very many times

I'll recount some of those life lessons in this post..

(1) Age will catch up on you.. No matter what you do! And it does affect the quality (and quantity) of your life

(2) The little daily things matter the most, and are what bring a smile or laugh or create that special memory

(3) Say Sorry and Thank You here and now. You never really may get the next chance

(4) You will pay a price for your "karma".. Both good, bad and ugly - There is no escape

(5) Stay True to yourself.. When you sleep (both temporary and permanently)

(6) Think before you speak or do something..

(7) So people, relationships are simply not worth investing time and money in. Better to cut your losses and move on

(8) Expectations are the cause for almost every single problem in this world.. Try to expect less

(9) Be clear on your priorities for life.. Live accordingly

(10) Nothing is permanent but change. Today may be the best / worst day of your life. There's no telling how tomorrow can / will be..

(11) There is only so much in your control. Beyond that, what is meant to be will be

(12) Your past defines you, and makes you you. Don't shy away from it

(13) Choose your battles wisely ; Not all battles are worth fighting

(14) Live a little for yourself everyday. After all, the longest and most lasting relationship you'll ever have is with yourself

(15) It is OK to break the rules once in a way, as long as you're not really on the wrong side of the law

(16) If it means something deeply to you, do it today

(17) Laugh and smile a little everyday

(18) Give a hug to a special him / her everyday

(19) A daily routine and self-discipline are two of the biggest assets you can ever have. Invest on building them. They will hold you in good stead on many a rainy day

(20) Once lost, something's will never ever ever come back to you...

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Is there any value in sheer “PRESENCE”?


There are so many times / situations / circumstances in life when you find people just “present” – required / not required or invited / uninvited or welcome / unwelcome. They grace the occasion with their “presence”

Sometimes they observe everything with a keen eye
Sometimes they are just not interested
They say nothing
They do nothing
They add nothing
But they are physically present…
Let me give you a few real-life examples:

Case 1 | There’s an accident on the road, and you see a crowd. A big crowd of people who neither helps, nor assists nor asks or says anything. They simply stand and watch. Like it’s an entertainment show or it is live entertainment. The situations needs people to act and assist in any possible way (Call the police, Call the ambulance, Help the accident victims, etc.) – But the vast majority grace the event with their presence..
Is there any value in “sheer presence”?

Case 2 | There’s a family function, and I observe many people again grace the occasion just by their presence. They again neither greet anyone nor smile nor participate nor say anything. They’re lost in their own world, do what they have to do; and leave.
Is there any value in “sheer presence”?

Case 3 | In everyday life, you see so many such people in so many instances. At the market, at the malls, at home, at the workplace… you see them everywhere. They are just “present” – Don’t really say anything worthwhile, don’t really do anything worthwhile..
Is there any value in “sheer presence”?

I can’t help but wonder
Do they really have nothing to do with their time or life?
What’s on their minds?
That makes them simply present

Do they not understand the need of the hour?
Do they not know what to say?
Do they not know what to do?
Do they not want to do / say anything?
Do they not understand that they can say something?
Do they not understand that they can do something?
Do they not understand that they can make a difference?

Agreed that many of us “grace” situations / events / occasions several times in our life out of choice / compulsion, and hence we “turn-off” due to sheer disinterest or we are pre-occupied elsewhere. But if you find it as a repeated behavior in yourself / someone almost all the time.. Then what?

May be some pondering
May be some reflection
May be some self-awareness
May be some introspection
May be some questioning
May be some self-examination
May be look for some answers…

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

What makes a good "Reality TV Show" judge?

Over the past few years, the number of Reality TV shows has boomed. Almost every TV channel has one / several reality shows running at any given point of time. And while each show has different idea / concept / focus, one thing is definite - Having a known / celebrity judge!

After all, one reason for audience interest and good TRP's (Target Rating Points) is to have an interesting / diverse panel of judges who can provide feedback (and much needed "drama") during the show.

So I can't help and wonder "What really makes a good "Reality TV Show" judge?" (Celebrity status aside)

In this blog, listing my views:
(1) Knowledge on what's being judged (Be it music, dance, drama, performance, cooking, etc.)

(2) Some level of real-life "Hands-On" experience on what's being judged. And some public credentials to speak / show for the same. So if you're judging a dance show, you should have some real experience in dance or performing arts

(3) Maturity to judge a show (Not every one can qualify to judge, no matter what level of knowledge and expertise you have!)

(4) Unbiased / Neutral in views / opinions / perspectives

(5) Ability to give "constructive feedback" to the participants. And I don't mean you should be nice always, but you should be sensitive NOT to destroy an individual's self-confidence, especially since it is up for public viewing

(6) Openness to accept (in public) when you're Wrong

(7) Willingness to apologize (in public) if the situation warrants

(8) Good communication skills - After all, you should be able to make your point, and explain it!

(9) Sense of humor; to laugh at yourself in public & laugh with / at others

(10) Well dressed : After all, you are in front of public eyes for that 1 hour. So it makes sense to dress up well.

That's my view! What's yours? Leave a comment to let me know

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Trust...

Trust can make you
Lack of Trust can break you

Trust can make you dream
Lack of Trust can shatter your dreams

Trust can be your source of inspiration
Lack of Trust can be the basis of demotivation

Trust can be your only anchor
Lack of Trust can leave you without any anchors

Trust can give you meaning for life
Lack of Trust can destroy the meaning of your life

Trust can create
Lack of Trust can destroy

Trust can be the cause for prosperity, success
Lack of Trust can be the reason for poverty, failure

In Trust, your world goes world
Lack of Trust, makes your world stand still

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Ultimate Pre-Parenting Checklist Manifesto



Check Check Check. Checking off items from a list almost always gives a different high – I call it the “Check Check Check High” (Similar to the Runner’s high or Writer’s high). If you are a checklist-kind-of person, you’d know what I mean.  And if you’re not, trust me becoming a new age parent will make you a “checklist-person”. There simply is no other realistic way to survive and thrive

All my life, I’ve created several zillion checklists and followed another billion checklists (yes! Some checklists are not to be followedJ, and worthy only of the Recycle Bin!) – Be it for studies, exams, work, hobbies and interests, work, home maintenance, cooking, cleaning, de-cluttering, etc etc.
After I got married, many of my friends used to ask me if there was any kind of checklist to figure out your readiness to enter into matrimony. I wish there was. But I didn’t find one, so I created my own Pre-Marital Checklist based on my personal experiences. Be sure to check it out and see if you agree

Now that I am a parent, a lot of friends and family ask if there is any kind of checklist to figure out one’s readiness to take the big plunge into this life chapter called “Parenting”. Dr. Google did not help me either on this one. And I thought based on my (limited) experiences as a parent, I could create one. So here I go

NOTE: This is by no means an exhaustive checklist. It is just what I feel are critical to parenting and raising health well-balanced and well-rounded children.
No
Criteria
Response (Yes / No)
1
Are you patient? Borderline patient? Are you will to be patient?

2
Do you have the ability to learn, un-learn and re-learn from every day experiences?

3
Can you stay positive in spite / despite everything? – If not immediately, at least can you spring back to positivity in due course of time?

4
Are you in control of your reactions and responses – at least most times? If not, are you willing to try to control?

5
Are you healthy and energetic? – Physically and as a part of day to day life?

6
Are there no major medical ailments which can inhibit your everyday tasks as a parent?

7
Are you / spouse a good storyteller? If not are you willing to start learning / trying to spin a yarn today?

8

9
Can you put someone before you (almost all the time)?

10
Are you financially stable and secure to take care of the needs of yourself and your children?

11
Can you let-go of perfection? Are you willing to accept that being perfectly imperfect and imperfectly perfect are the only possible ways to move ahead?

12
Can you be attached to people, but detached from outcomes?

13
Can you answer questions, and yet not answer them?

14
Can you ask questions without knowing the answers yourself?

15
Are you willing to accept that you don’t know and will never know everything?

16
Are you ready to re-calibrate your own expectations of yourself? And of your family / friends and the world around you?

17
Are you willing to make a long term investment of time, money, love and emotions into one person without having any clear view on how things will be in the future?

18
Do you know when to shut-up and when to speak up?

19
Are you willing to re-define your priorities? – in terms of your personal / professional life so you can play a role in the growth and development of your children?

20
Are you willing to have a part of your body, mind, heart and soul away from you for the rest of your life? – especially relevant for a mother

21
Are you ready to invest your time and life in the most important part of your personal legacy?

22
Are you willing to be the best possible YOU?

23
Can you laugh at yourself?

24
Are you good at multi-tasking?

25
Are you an optimist by nature? Even borderline optimist will do

26
Are you / spouse good in teaching and explaining things?

27
Are you / spouse good in photography

28
Are you willing to spare the last piece of your favorite food, even though you’ve not had it for a very long time and are craving to gulp it down your throat?

29
Are you willing to let go of every physical / materialistic object without any real expectation of what condition it will be returned to you? – mobiles, laptops, iPad, cosmetics, clothes, etc.

30
Can you be silent and yet convey so much, and speak up and still convey nothing?


I think if you score at least 70% overall, you’re good to take the plunge. Just my view. What is yours? Leave a comment to let me know

Originally published here